First, you get a paper cup. Can be any paper cup: sturdy, little bit deep. Krispy Kreme -- Starbucks if you can find one.

The cup should be white and clean as you can keep it You want to look clean .

Find a good place to sit -- not so close to others. Street crossings are best. Don't look too anxious. In fact, un-eager. Like you don't want the the money.

Keep your chatter soft-peddle. Don't explain, just beg. And plead.

- Please, mister. Please


Go speed racer, go

My wife believes driving in a foreign country takes two people.

It. Does. Not.

I have steely confidence and take the stick shift in the wrong hand whilst sitting on the wrong seat in the car and driving on the wrong side of the road while going 80 (km/hr). Every car we get has a stick, is named euroPuff and doesn't have a second gear worth a damn.

- Stay on the left side - We're in the gutter - You just hit their rear view mirror (I did NOT)


Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world

When you go to Ireland, go first to the west coast to see why these fair-skinned peopled dress in full-length wet suits to surf an an ocean that's always in winter. 
Look for the shock of hair and white faces poking out of the suit; that's Irish. Caps and hats are for foreigners, for the rest of the European Union.
The waves are small, fast, hard ... and relentless. To find a sweet swell, with some opportunity for adventure, an Irishman's got to paddle out a few hundred yards.